Transactional Analysis in Ireland

URGENT - Amendments re Affirmations

2012-01-25T16:50:00.001Z

Hi Everyone, I have just received the message below from Jean Illsley Clarke which outlines some misinformation on the TAI website Affirmations page.

Elizabeth, we were looking on the internet for what is there about affirmations and your offerings popped right up. They assert that these developmental affirmations came from Self-Esteem: A Family Affair [SEAFA]. Actually they did not. The ones in that book are from Pam Levin and are credited that way.
The developmental affirmations are from Growing Up Again and How Much Is Enough? I think it's important that the correct books be listed. Can you make that happen? I am most appreciative of your posting them and doing what you do to make them available to people
Love, Jean
PS: If you can, you might want to change your email address on your site:)

CURRENT EMAIL:
tainireland@gmail.com
NOTE regarding corrections/additions to original web-pages (SEAFA Affirmations)
Unfortunately, for technical reasons it is not possible to amend these pages at this stage. However, should you identify errors or omissions, I am very happy to amend them here on this blog if you email me at elizabeth.cleary@gmail.com.

UPDATE regarding PHONE NUMBER

2011-09-07T17:20:00.000+01:00

Dear Friends of TAI (Transactional Analysis in Ireland)
Today Tony and I received our copy of the new phone-book, and to our dismay, our number is no longer listed under Transactional Analysis in Ireland.

We are happy to remain as contact for TA, for as long as people might require us to be so. Therefore, note our number, including international prefix:
00 353 1 451 1125.

There is currently no news of any meetings, gatherings, or courses.
We would be happy to collaborate with anyone who wants to organize anything in the Dublin area.

Sincerely
Tony and Elizabeth Cleary

Next workshop - next SUNDAY November 9 2008

2008-11-02T13:54:00.000Z

The next TAI workshop will take place a week today, Sunday November 9 2008.
TOPIC: NLP from a TA perspective
VENUE: Phone +353 1 4511125 for details
TIME: 1900 assemble for 1930 start (7 for 7:30)
Small DONATION towards expenses

All welcome

Notes from last meeting - Sept 28 2008

2008-11-02T13:45:00.000Z

TA HUNGERS What Berne says:

GPP p13-15 - 1964
Stimulus hunger
• Need for physical contact, skin to skin.
• Learn to do with symbolic forms of handling
Recognition-hunger
• Need for verbal stroking
• Any strokes are better than no strokes
• Gentle handling and painful electric shocks were equally effective in promoting the health of [research] animals
Structure-hunger
• What do you say to her (him) then?
• Nothing is more uncomfortable than .a period of silent, unstructured time when no one present can think of anything more interesting to say than: ‘Don’t you think the walls are perpendicular tonight?’

WDYSAYSH p21 - 1972
Stroke/ Stimulus Hunger – Touch me and show me I’m alive – Stimulate me and give me a taste of living
• Need for sensation (why roller coasters make money)
Recognition Hunger – Call me by my name and tell me who I am
• Only be supplied by another human being (or animal)
• Milk is not enough, need for sound of mother’s voice, smell, warmth, touch
Structure Hunger – keep me occupied so I’ll know what’s going to happen
• Uneasy with unstructured time
• Why groups tend to grow into organizations
• Why time-structurers are among the most sought after and most highly rewarded members of any society.

SIHL PP191-193 - 1970
Six hungers:
• Stimulus hunger for sensory stimulation of sight and sound and touch, with smell and taste as a bonus for gourmets.
• Recognition hunger, for a special kind of warmth and contact in deeds or words.
• Contact hunger, for physical stroking, although some people settle for pain, or even come to prefer it
• Sexual hunger, to penetrate and be penetrated, which gratifies the other hungers while it happens.
• Structure-hunger is more widespread, and almost as damaging as malnutrition or malaria. When it becomes acute, it turns into incident-hunger, which causes many people to get into trouble and make trouble just to relieve their boredom …
• Incident hunger
• Satan finds some mischief still for idle hands to do
• Keep the troops busy (no matter how) or they’ll lose their morale and their respect for you to boot.’.
Not everybody is comfortable with all six.

Social, biological, psychological

Initially physical, then can be symbolic
Claude Steiner - (article)
Any complete theory of behavior requires an explanation of the motivation, the moving force, the energy that causes behavior. When accounting, as any scientific psychologist must, for why people engaged in transactions at all, Berne framed his explanation in terms of the need for stimulation. It was here that he prefigured the issues that, in my opinion, will become central in XXI century psychology and psychiatry; information hunger.

Hardgaden & Sills Transactional Analysis: A Relational Perspective p6
We believe that our deepest motivation is for contact with others and that a sense of ‘cohesive self’ develops through the quality of the relationship.

MOTIVATION
Define Motivation
Motivation is simply
- The reason for an action
- That which gives purpose and direction to behaviour.
Motivation is “WHAT drives you” to behave in a certain way or to take a particular action. It is your WHY.
If YOUR “WHY” IS BIG ENOUGH, THE HOW DOESN’T MATTER

INTERNET QUOTES
Transactional analysis is a tool which managers can learn to use to increase their motivation, to stop "game" playing and to put their own organizational lives into perspective. The "TA" approach to management is clearly job-oriented and pragmatic. It is a simplified approach to understanding why people act the way they do and what can be done to promote more effective human behavior.
(Washington University)

MASLOW team building and motivation. © Alan Chapman 1995-2007
© Abraham Maslow original Hierarchy of Needs concept; Alan Chapman review and other material, design, code 1995-2008.

WHICH OF THESE WORK AS MOTIVATORS FOR YOU?

INTERNAL MOTIVATORS
Thoughts?
Feelings?
Standards/Principles
Needs?
Wants?
Self-encouragement/stroking

EXTERNAL MOTIVATORS
Other People’s example?
What I think other people might think?
Rewards /positive strokes?
Punishments /negative strokes?
Expected Outcomes?

Better Late than Never - Sept 2008

2008-09-26T14:29:00.000+01:00

Sept 26 2008
Dear TA friends
I realize this is very short notice for the next TAI workshop.
We will meet at 8 Seskin View Avenue, Tallaght Dublin 24 this coming SUNDAY, September 28 2008 at 1900 for 1930 start. Buses 77a and 49 come very close.Google map is here Zoom out if you need to.
The TOPIC will be Motivation, as follow through on the last topic.

As always, the workshop will be informal with input on the topic followed by discussion.
TAI workshops are free of charge, with a small donation suggested towards costs.

Looking forward to seeing some of you.
I apologize for the short notice - obviously,either I have the opposite of a 'Hurry Up', or maybe my Rebellious Child is showing.

Warm Fuzzies
Elizabeth

Meeting in September 2008

2008-08-12T20:22:00.000+01:00

Would you believe it - we have actually arranged our next meeting date:
Sunday September 28. Topic MOTIVATION. Presenter and venue not confirmed yet.

REPORT: June 22 2008 on COMMITMENT

2008-08-12T19:37:00.000+01:00

These are NOTES and FEEDBACK from the TAI meeting on COMMITMENT.

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman (attributed)

This quotation is a reminder to us that we need to constantly check to make sure that what we think the other person meant, is actually what they DID mean - and nowhere is this more important than in the area of commitment.

These are the questions /topics we discussed and a selection of the responses given by those present.

1. What is COMMITMENT?

Adherence to a cause
Doing what you say you will do
Sticking to your guns
Decision
Truth
Willingness to compromise/work to achieve a desired result

2. What is needed for commitment to exist

Trust
Loyal
Unconditional regard
wish for something
staying with it good or bad

3. What kind of a transaction is a commitment?

Working togethere
Sticking to a decision
Adult to Adult
More than one element involved - (one person plus goal or more than one person)

4. Examples of commitment

Football watching
Persistence against opposition
Truth
Faith
Long life study
focusing

5. Possible levels of commitment

Half-hearted
full
ranges from sincere to selfish
depends on the individual and full commitment is the best

6. One-sided commitment

Heroic
True
Very difficult
Backing off
Inequality

7. Life-long commitment?

Difficult
Truth
Way of life
Lack of growth? Permanent re-affirmation?
Difficult - needs constant communication for it to succeed

8. Why commitments disintegrate?

Miscommunication
changes in committed parties
changed circumstances
Laziness
give up to easily

9. Change as part of ongoing commitment

Disturbance
Acceptance of other's differences
change is necessary sometimes, depending on present circumstances
Acceptance
Flexibility

10. Adjustment to/termination of commitment (one-sided, two-sided)

Keeping your work
Flexibility
completion of contract
Ego state-change
truthfulness in expressing your opinions if you feel dissatisfied
Go with the flow

Commitment quotes

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” Author Unknown

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” Peter F. Drucker quotes (American Educator and Writer, b.1909)

”Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” Tom Robbins quotes (American Novelist. b.1936)

“Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” Mario Andretti quotes (Italian born American Race driver. b.1940

“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality.” James Womack quotes

“It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. Zig Ziglar quotes (American motivational Speaker and Author.

“An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. Mae West quotes (American Actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)

“Commitment in the face of conflict produces character.”

“The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” Vince Lombardi (American Football Coach, national symbol of single-minded determination to win.1913-1970)

When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.”Author Unknown

TAI June 2008 VENUE

2008-06-21T08:29:00.001+01:00

TOPIC: Commitment

Date: Sunday June 22 2008

Venue - Murphy's Pub. 93 -95 Upper Rathmines Rd. (2 mins walk past Tesco, Rathmines) in small room past food service area (not usually operative at night)

Time - 7 for 7.30pm start

On-street parking available opposite pub, and possibly alongside. Side streets nearby you may have to pay.

A WORKSHOP at last!

2008-06-13T09:21:00.001+01:00

Hi folks, just a quick note to let you know that there will one of TAI's occasional workshops on the evening of Sunday June 22.

Put this date in your diary, and watch this space for details of time and venue.

Topic will be COMMITMENT - some of what TA has to say about it, various degrees of it, and whether and discussion on possibilities of how to deal with both one-sided and two sided terminations of commitment.

I welcome suggestions and ideas in advance, especially from those who might not be able to make their input at the meeting.

Warm fuzzies to you all.
Elizabeth

2006-07-23T16:05:00.000+01:00

PROCESS OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS (UFB): A TA look at PROCRASTINATION?
TAI work-shop July 22 2006 at Glenlyon (Thanks to Lily for hospitality)

A good meeting, despite small numbers present: Paul, Paul, Lily, Tony and Elizabeth. Apologies from several people.

Group selected selected items from the list.

Unwritten letters?
Uncleared attic area?
Long promised visit to a friend?
Shed in a mess?
Phone-call not made?
Catch-up time with relatives
Reading or Study undone?
Serious confrontation not dealt with?
Curtains need washing?
Unused material waiting to be sewed?
Workshop unprepared?
Medical Check-up delayed?
Christmas Preparations undone?
Grass un-cut?
Hobbies neglected?
Windows un-cleaned?
Not Fully letting go something?
Neglecting work by doing trivial tasks

From the discussion that followed, we agreed that:
· Few if any items were truly urgent.
· It is often difficult to make a decision to do desirable items
· It is the ones that are ‘Important, not urgent’ that most often end up as Unfinished Business.
· That one way to stop an item from becoming UFB is to deliberately make a decision not to do it.
How does your UFB happen?

· A major factor in the creation of UFB is inadequate organization of time
· The kind of strokes we get from creating UFB are usually self-inflicted and negative.
· We feed our Script by these continuous negative self-strokes
· We rarely give ourselves long-lasting strokes when we clear UFB
· Both the Hurry up and the Be Perfect drivers were mentioned.
· We create UFB when we are hurrying off to start a new task before finishing the task in hand.
· We create UFB by setting an over-high standard of perfection as an excuse for not completing the task immediately.

Our response to an OVER-CONTROLLING PARENT is often firstly rebellion. However, when we find that doesn’t work, we often change to procrastination. (Muriel James on video)

We identified a slight difference between procrastination and unfinished business.
Procrastination (persistently putting off doing something) is a form of faulty decision making.
Unfinished business is the specific topic that activates the delaying tactics.
When asked to suggest SELF-REWARDS we might give ourselves for not procrastinating, most of those present had difficulty in naming specific and concrete rewards that might satisfy the Child part of us without doing us harm.

Due to pressure of time, the following section was not discussed.EGO-STATES AND UFB
· Decision on IMPORTANCE of the task (done by Adult or Parent or Child?)
· Choice of PRIORITY of the task (done by Adult Parent or Child?)
· Assessment of the URGENCY of the task (done by Adult Parent or Child?)
· Allocation of TIME to do the task (done by Adult, Parent, or Child?)
· GUILT, REGRETS, SELF-TORTURE at task not being done (done by Parent or Child

The evening ended with light refreshments (Thanks again Lily).

July 2006 Workshop Notice

2006-07-08T14:53:00.000+01:00

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN IRELAND
Correspondence to:
TAI
c/o 8 Seskin View Avenue
Tallaght, Dublin 24
IRELAND
Web Page - http:/homepage.eircom.net/~liztai37
Phone: +353-1-4511125; e-mail:elizabeth.cleary@gmail.com NOTE CHANGED EMAIL
Hi Friends
We are having a TAI workshop Lily’s place in Knocklyon on Saturday July 22 2006 at 1930 in the evening. Let me know if you need instructions on how to get there.

Elizabeth will explore with us the topic of The Process of Unfinished Business: A TA look at Procrastination. We will look at how this topic connects with TA concepts, and how we could apply these ideas to our own lives.

Hope to see you there. No admission charge, Donation towards costs appreciated as always.
Regards
Elizabeth

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS is a social and psychological theory, with mutual contracting for growth and change.

BOUNDARIES versus BARRIERS

2006-06-07T11:39:00.000+01:00

BOUNDARIES versus BARRIERS

TAI Workshop May 27 2006, Premier Square, Glasnevin Dublin

DEFINITIONS

BOUNDARY seems to be an ‘I’ statement:

This is where I begin and where you end. (OK/OK)

Mostly based on

- Facts
- ADULT information
- Limitation
- Protection
- End/Beginning marker

BARRIER seems to be ‘You’ statement:

You keep out of here. This is my territory(OK/notOK)

Mostly based on

·PARENT ‘Rules’
·Exclusion
·Prevention
·‘Keep-Out’

Brainstorm Results

Good fences make good neighbours
Cricket Boundary (and advantage)
Bus lanes as invisible boundaries

Height as a Barrier
Gated Community
Barrier of Mind
Class Barrier

Other examples of boundaries:

·Limit-line between territories

·The edge of a cricket pitch. Outside this, the ball is ‘out of play’ (defines/contains pitch and non pitch)

·Personal boundary: area of space around a person inside which they feel safe unless another enters that space uninvited, in which case they feel threatened.

POSSIBLE DEFINITION: Culturally agreed behavioural standards regarding touching, proximity, property etc (often unwritten, and unexpressed)

Other Examples of barriers:

·Barrier cream – water/dirt keep out
·Ticket barrier at train: To keep you off the train until you show you have a ticket
·Barrier Reef: To keep out the ocean waves
·Psychological barrier: something that prevents communication
·Highway barrier: to prevent people going off the road into other people’s territory.
·Cultural barrier: prevents communication

STYLES OF BOUNDARIES

·Thick-boundaried people tend to place a large "distance" between themselves and the world -- they tend not to remember their dreams, they tend to be rigid in their beliefs and habits, not to be free in expressing their emotions.

·Thin-boundaried people, on the other hand, seem to live partially in a dream-world, to be permissive and "liberal" in their beliefs, to express their feelings freely, and to be very sensitive to the emotions of others. (http://www.goertzel.org/books/logic/chapter_eleven.htm)

Interesting comment from participant on this idea: Maybe we all have variable boundaries according to the situation and who we are with, being sometimes more or less thick boundaried according to how secure or otherwise we feel

BOUNDARIES & CONFLICT

Boundaries/barriers as element of CONFLICT.

·War

·Disagreement
·Trade Unions
·Bullying

Lack of Boundaries

·Is it Immaturity or lack of training?
·Courtship
·Conversation
Internet

BOUNDARY ISSUES
Woman in train with feet on seat beside her - Confront or Not?

Spreading pucks and bags into empty seats

Variable extent of boundaries ?no-man’s land/ leading to war

COMMENTS from DISCUSSION

- Boundaries DEFINE

- Barriers CONTROL

- Population shifts lead to boundary changes dealing with resources

- Boundaries to PROTECT

- Noise as SPACE as TERRITORY

- Foreigners and boundaries – only loosen up when they feel at home

LANGUAGE as boundary establishment also way of crossing

BEHAVIOUR as boundary establishment also way of crossing

Example of ESTABLISHING RULES to maintain BOUNDARIES/BARRIERS

·Teach students to never give out their name, school, address, phone number, picture or other personal information to people they meet online, especially in public places like chat rooms and bulletin boards.

·Instruct students to never plan face-to-face meetings alone with online acquaintances.

·Tell students not to respond and to let you know if they receive offensive or dangerous e-mail, chat or other communications

“PUPPY DOG SYNDROME”

TYPE A: Hang-dog

TYPE B: OTT dog

Both effected by low-self-esteem either in puppy or in owner

How to make a HANG-DOG

· Tentative tail wags (I think you’re OK, I want to be OK with you)

· Tail-wags leading to patting (yes you are OK, and I must be OK too, since you are patting/stroking me)

· Boisterous Jumping up (Actually I think you’re wonderfully OK and its great to know you think I’m OK too)

· Leads to shouting down (Uh Oh, maybe you don’t think I’m so OK, maybe I’m not as OK as I thought)

· Several repeats (yeah, obviously you know more than I do, so obviously I’m really not OK)

· Hang-dog slinks away (Definitely, I’m not OK – I wonder why?. I tried as hard as I could to Please you. Obviously I’m not Perfect enough. I definitely amn’t Strong enough to oppose you. I’ll just Hurry away and hide)

How to make an OTT DOG

· Tentative tail wags (I think you’re OK, I want to be OK with you)

· Tail-wags leading to patting (yes you are OK, and I must be OK too, since you are patting/stroking me)

· Boisterous Jumping up (Actually I think you’re wonderfully OK and its great to know you think I’m OK too)

· Leads to raised eyebrows and shoulder shrugs (Uh Oh, maybe you don’t think I’m so OK, maybe I’m not as OK as I thought. But it seems to be OK to keep jumping up. This is fun)

· Several repeats of jumping (Obviously I’m not REALLY OK, but at least I get plenty of attention/strokes when I jump up not like poor HANG DOG who hardly gets any strokes.)

Question 1: How do we teach self-restraint without either breaking the spirit or giving no self-discipline?

Question 2: How do we restore joy if the spirit has been broken?

PRIORITIZING

2006-05-18T09:15:00.000+01:00

PRIORITIZING
TAI workshop at Watermill, Tallaght
April 8 2006
SCHEDULE

Welcome
Ground Rules
Theme explanation
Exercise 1 – Organize set of category cards: Spouse, Children, Relatives, Job/Study, Housework, Hobby, Entertainment, Religion, Prayer
Exercise 2: Brainstorm on Sabotage circumstances (list on flipchart page)
Further explanation
Working Styles
Contract

What’s PRIORITIZING about?
Definition: (EC) an internal list of the elements of my life, arranged in order of importance.

Both Conscious and out of awareness usage.
Too much of Being conscious can lead to agonizing;(Anxious Child)
Too much of being out of awareness can lead to misuse of scarce resources especially resource of TIME. (Parent Assumptions)

AGONIZING:
A state of uncertainty in which

In my Child, I am not clear on what Parent ‘really wants’
In my Parent, I am not clear what is ‘really right’
Need to get into my Adult , think about what might/could be appropriate and make a decision do it.

Also can be agonizing because of conflict between

what Child wants,
what Parent wants
what the situation needs

RESOURCES:
Time, talents, skills, people’s availability, opportunity, weather, health, money, materials,

STOLEN TIME
Back to prioritizing again – this day some of the things I have made important have used up time (stolen time) from other things that in my Adult I know to possibly be of higher importance if I wish to reach my goals.

Trick is to spend Adult time:

Making a physical list (pencil and paper)
Assessing ranges of current importance/priority
Identify and Evaluate values behind current priority decisions.
Decision-making on flexibility issues (what can be flexible, what cannot.)
Consider including a regular and built-in review time.

Exercise 1 – Organize set of category cards: Spouse, Children, Relatives, Job/Study, Housework, Hobby, Entertainment, Religion, Prayer

Exercise 2: Brainstorm on Sabotage circumstances (list on flipchart page)

Make Personal Contracts (short and long-term GOALS) regarding the list and review.

CONTRACT with myself (Newton & Napper, 2000)

Date: -----------------------

What do I want to accomplish?
How will I know when I have done this?
How might I sabotage doing this?
What do I need in order to do this?
How will I reward myself when I have this done?

Signed --------------------------

Practice hard for a limited, relatively short period.
Check/Review one month later and regularly thereafter and see how much of list has become ‘second nature’ (in other words, healthily out of awareness).

GOAL FOCUS

If my goals are vague and not clearly in my FOCUS,

I find it easy to be side-tracked,
and to go for something for the Child in the immediate
without taking into account that the same Child part is going to have to suffer more in the future
when I am puffing about, trying to sort out the chaos I have created.

Conversely, the opposite/reverse is also true.

Failure to set clear GOALS leads to lack of FOCUS which in turn reduces awareness of DISTRACTION.
DISTRACTION energizes Child CHOICES or sometimes Parent CHOICES (= non-Adult choices).
Parent or Child CHOICES indulge WANTS that may or may not be currently legitimate.
DISTRACTED ACTIONS use energy and TIME extravagantly, leaving little surplus energy/time to supply Child or Parent NEEDS.

TARGET STROKES and Working Styles (adapted from Julie Hay)

Hurry Ups already get praised for being quick; so set out to get recognition for accuracy as well.
Be Perfects already get praised for accuracy. Now look for recognition for meeting deadlines and for appropriate levels of detail.
Everybody already thinks Please People are nice. Now aim for recognition for being assertive.
Try Hard people already score points for enthusiasm. Now get recognition for finishing tasks - successfully.
Be Strong people often get low key recognition for not needing help; watch how relationships improve when you let people help you.

Remember also that it may be useful to acquire some of the other working styles if you recognise you are heavily into one or two only.

Elizabeth photo

2005-08-22T17:32:00.000+01:00

Elizabeth August 2005

Recent TAI Meetings 2004-5

2005-08-21T00:14:00.000+01:00

Here are some recent meetings held by TAI
AMENDED
Sorry for the HTML mess if you saw it. As I mentioned, I’m only learning this blogging business. I have new separated the notices for the different meetings into separate postings. I have also included any handouts I have on file. Hope you find it interesting
Elizabeth

TAI Meeting held May 16 2004
Topic: Overindulgence (based on materials supplied by Jean Illsley Clarke)

TAI Meeting held November 06 2004
TOPIC: BENEFITING FROM YOUR 'Hurry Up' and other DRIVERS

TAI Meeting held February 05 2005
Topic: Building Resilience in young people.

TAI Meeting held April 02 2005
Topic: AGING WITH DIGNITY -My Five Wishes (to be based on materials supplied by Jean Illsley Clarke).

TAI Meeting May 07 2005
Topic I'm OK, You're OK

TAI Meeting July 16 2005
Topic A TA look at Terrorism and Fundamentalism and Fanaticism

Welcome to Transactional Analysis in Ireland

2005-08-20T08:10:00.000+01:00

Welcome to Transactional Analysis in Ireland, otherwise known as TAI.
Greetings to frineds old and new from Elizabeth in Tallaght, Dublin Ireland

Hopefully this will be an improved way to establish a two-way communication with any TA fans either in or from the Emerald Isle - which is looking delightfully emerald on account of recent rain.

My plan is to publish information both in advance of and after our workshops. These informal orkshops are held approximately monthly at various venues.

Meantime our somewhat out-of-date webpage is at http://homepage.eircom.net/liztai37/. Last update was around 2002 (can't believe it was that long ago, but a lot of water has gone under the bridge since then.)

Maybe that's what my next posting should be: an account of what has been going on in both TAI and in my own life since then.

Enough for the moment. I am just beginning to learn about blogging, so have to do some more exploring

Bye till next time
Elizabeth
PS the time is as in Ireland (GMT Summer Time)

TAI Meeting Terrorism July 16 2005

2005-07-22T16:40:00.000+01:00

TAI Meeting Terrorism July 16 2005

NOTICICATION EMAIL
July 9 2005
Hi Folks
There will be a workshop at our home (Tallaght) this coming SATURDAY, July 16 2005 at 1930 (7:30 p.m. in the evening)
The topic (to be led by by Elizabeth Cleary) concerns A TA look at Terrorism and Fundamentalism and Fanaticism
All Welcome. Donation towards expenses appreciated.
Hope you might be able to make it.
As always, please let me know if you no longer want to hear about our occasional workshops..
Regards to you all
Elizabeth Cleary

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS is a social and psychological theory, with mutual contracting for growth and change.

HANDOUTS distributed at meeting

A TA LOOK AT TERRORISM and FUNDAMENTALISM and FANATICISM

Contract
What do I want to achieve from this meeting?
What will I do to achieve this?
What might I do to sabotage myself or others achieving this?
How will I know when I’ve achieved this
How will I reward myself for achieving this?

Collective nouns Examples
The innocent
The terrorists
The government/politicians
The enemy
The Irish
The Arabs
The Muslims
The TA Community
The Church
The Clergy
The Laity

My theory is that these are deceptive terms, like stereotypes, since no two human beings are the same. Therefore, at most, we only share small aspects of similarity, even in areas where we at first think we have a lot in common.

Quotes for change (which you may or may not agree with)

Gandhi, "Violence is the language of the unheard."

We cannot achieve peace unless we believe that we can learn from others." Lawrence Carter
"To love is to listen." Lawrence Carter

Fundamentalism is a reaction against secular modernity Karen Armstrong

We are not just to tolerate, but to respect and honour one another. Dr. Kamar,

Fanaticism a reaction to colonialism, economic exploitation, social grievances, and the unequal distribution of wealth which has caused class struggles. Roberto Marin-Guzman

fun·da·men·tal·ism n. A usually religious movement or point of view characterized by a return to fundamental principles, by rigid adherence to those principles, and often by intolerance of other views and opposition to secularism.
fa·nat·i·cism n. Excessive, irrational zeal.

If you want to rule, control, exploit or ruin a people, keep them illiterate.
The most that can be attributed to these insane criminals is a desire to be important. They have no other way to make us take notice except violence. They are small people who want a moment of global action. Mary Kaldor

when religion did too little to combat prejudice and injustice Samuel Pisar

insecurity, danger and distrust cause groups or peoples to withdraw into themselves, protecting and fortifying what they believe is fundamental and essential to their cultural and religious identity. Martin Marty

The Muslim speakers all stressed that the Koran outlawed violence and that the atrocities committed in Algeria, for example, bore "no relation whatever" to authentic Islam. Noted one Muslim in a small group conversation, "The feeling I have when someone equates me with Islamic violence is probably the same feeling you have when a so-called Catholic bombs an abortion clinic."

Paul Pillar, CIA on terrorism

It is premeditated—planned in advance, rather than an impulsive act of rage.
It is political—not criminal, like the violence that groups such as the mafia use to get money, but designed to change the existing political order.
It is aimed at civilians—not at military targets or combat-ready troops.
It is carried out by subnational groups—not by the army of a country.
the religious terrorist often sees violence as an end in itself, as a divinely inspired way of serving a higher cause

The definition proposed here states that terrorism is the intentional use of, or threat to use violence against civilians or against civilian targets, in order to attain political aims. (International Policy Institute for Counter-Terrorism)

TAI Meeting I'm OK, You're OK May 07 2005

2005-05-07T18:45:00.000+01:00

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN IRELAND

TAI Web Page -http:/homepage.eircom.net/~liztai37

April 24 2005

Hi Folks
There will be a workshop at our home (Tallaght) this coming SATURDAY, May 07 2005 at 1930 (7:30 p.m. in the evening)
The topic (to be led by by Hazel Luskin) concerns I'm OK, You're OK

All Welcome. Donation towards expenses appreciated.
Hope you might be able to make it.
As always, please let me know if you no longer want to hear about our occasional workshops..

Regards to you all
Elizabeth Cleary

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS is a social and psychological theory, with mutual contracting for growth and change.

TAI Meeting AGING WITH DIGNITY -My Five Wishes April 02 2005

2005-04-02T18:42:00.000+01:00

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN IRELAND

Web Page -http:/homepage.eircom.net/~liztai37

Phone: +353-1-4511125; e-mail:liztai@eircom.net

March 28 2005

Hi Folks

My apologies for the short notice.

There will be a workshop at our home (Tallaght) this coming SATURDAY, April 02 2005 at 1930 (7:30 p.m. in the evening)

The topic (to be led by by Tony Cleary) concerns AGING WITH DIGNITY -My Five Wishes (to be based on materials supplied by Jean Illsley Clarke).

All Welcome. Phone +353 1 4511125 for directions if you need them. Donation towards expenses appreciated.

Hope you might be able to make it, despite the short notice.

As always, please let me know if you no longer want to hear about our occasional workshops..

Regards to you all

Elizabeth Cleary

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS is a social and psychological theory, with mutual contracting for growth and change.

TAI Meeting Building Resilience in young people February 05 2005

2005-02-05T18:41:00.000Z

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN IRELAND

Web Page - http:/homepage.eircom.net/~liztai37

e-mail:liztai@eircom.net

PS NOTE New email and web-page address

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS is a social and psychological theory, with mutual contracting for growth and change.

Hi Folks

Next TAI meeting is at Tallaght on SATURDAY February 5 2005 at 1930 (7:30 in the evening)

Topic is Building Resilience in young people.

Speaker Mary Carr, long time TAI member, will talk about the work she is currently engaged in. This will be followed by discussion on how this fits in with TA, and how could we build resilience in our own lives.

As always, this meeting is free of charge. However, there is a donations basket for those who would like to contribute towards costs.

Finally, let me know if you no longer want to receive these TAI notifications.

Sincerely

Elizabeth Cleary

TAI Meeting Overindulgence held May 16 2004

2004-05-16T18:38:00.000+01:00

Hi folks I was recently at a session with Jean Illsley Clarke on the topic of Overindulgence.

Next Sunday evening, May 16 at 0730 a few people are coming to our house to hear me tell about what I learnt. You are very welcome to come and join us.

As always admission is free of charge. We have a donations basket to defray expenses.

The topic Overindulgence is of interest to anyone who has ever overindulged either themselves, a child or another adult. Overindulgence is defined as giving a person 'too much of what looks good, too soon, too long ... to meet the givers own needs rather than the other person's needs.

Hope to see some of you.

Regards Elizabeth Cleary

TAI Meeting FEAR AND ANXIETY November 14 2003

2003-11-14T18:31:00.000Z

Hand out of meeting held at Glenlyon, Knocklyon, Dublin 16

FEAR AND ANXIETY (including Compulsive and Addictive Behaviour)

INTRODUCTORY EXERCISE
Write down three fears you have experienced in your life on three Post-its. Choose a partner and tell them about them. If you are willing put some or all of them on the poster.

What is FEAR?
Present moment
Based on reality as we perceive it at that moment
In Adult with strong Child influence (Fight or Flight Freeze , Flow or Fun) and strong Parent influence of protection.
Needs management –
identifying and prioritizing needs of situation
choice/rejection of behaviours from Adult,

What is ANXIETY?
Based in future
In Child and/or Parent with little Adult influence
Needs control:
Possible, Probable or Definite (Being Objective = getting into Adult)
Command muscles to move, or not to move
Stop complaining, talk about it from your Adult.
Be kind to the Scared Child part of yourself.

COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOUR
Something I tell myself I HAVE TO do
Anxiety about some consequences if I don’t do this thing
Discount of other consequences if I decide not to do this thing.

Child in control. Magical thinking that if I do/avoid this thing, I will be protected from harm, and if I don’t do it, something terrible will happen to me.
Needs Parent reassurance that nothing bad is going to happen if the behaviour is stopped and that protection is available.
Needs Adult information and decision making (identifying and prioritizing needs of situation, choice/rejection of behaviours from Adult)

PHOBIC BEHAVIOUR
Extreme or irrational fear or dislike of something

ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOURS
Something I tell myself I CANNOT STOP doing.
Anxiety about certain consequences if I stop doing this.
Total discount of other consequences if I continue to do this.

Needs Adult information and decision making (identifying and prioritizing needs of situation, choice/rejection of behaviours from Adult)
Needs Parent reassurance that protection is available, that that the discomfort involved in stopping the behaviour is manageable, and will be temporary.

EXERCISE
Sort the following behaviours (Listed on Post-its) under the headings:
FEAR,
ANXIETY,
ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOURS,
COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOUR,
PHOBIC BEHAVIOUR
1. You have begun to cross the road when a car comes around the corner to your right at ninety miles an hour.
2. You wash all the white woodwork in your house every day.
3. You leave your work-desk hourly to go out in the rain to smoke a cigarette
4. You stare out the window instead of studying because you are afraid of failing to do well in a forthcoming examination.
5. You scream when a mugger puts a knife to your throat.
6. You straighten the pictures in someone else’s house.
7. You refuse to go into a bedroom where you saw a spider six months ago.
8. You immediately buy a pair of shoes that attracts you, even though you know you had intended to spend the money on schoolbooks for your child.
9. You are asked to read to a group and sweat trickles down your back. You say you have forgotten your glasses.
10. You miss out a trip to the Empire State Building because you are afraid of heights (The platform is enclosed in glass)
11. You always stay at home while other members of your family do the shopping.
12. You are invited to talk to TAI for ten minutes and you spend six hours preparing a one page script.

Discuss which other headings that they might be put under
Notice that there is a continuum between normal and abnormal fears and anxieties.