Transactional Analysis in Ireland

Sunday, July 23, 2006

TAI work-shop July 22 2006 at Glenlyon (Thanks to Lily for hospitality)
A good meeting, despite small numbers present: Paul, Paul, Lily, Tony and Elizabeth. Apologies from several people.
Group selected selected items from the list.
  • Unwritten letters?
  • Uncleared attic area?
  • Long promised visit to a friend?
  • Shed in a mess?
  • Phone-call not made?
  • Catch-up time with relatives
  • Reading or Study undone?
  • Serious confrontation not dealt with?
  • Curtains need washing?
  • Unused material waiting to be sewed?
  • Workshop unprepared?
  • Medical Check-up delayed?
  • Christmas Preparations undone?
  • Grass un-cut?
  • Hobbies neglected?
  • Windows un-cleaned?
  • Not Fully letting go something?
  • Neglecting work by doing trivial tasks

From the discussion that followed, we agreed that:
Few if any items were truly urgent.
It is often difficult to make a decision to do desirable items
It is the ones that are ‘Important, not urgent’ that most often end up as Unfinished Business.
That one way to stop an item from becoming UFB is to deliberately make a decision not to do it.
How does your UFB happen?

  • · A major factor in the creation of UFB is inadequate organization of time
  • · The kind of strokes we get from creating UFB are usually self-inflicted and negative.
  • · We feed our Script by these continuous negative self-strokes
  • · We rarely give ourselves long-lasting strokes when we clear UFB
  • · Both the Hurry up and the Be Perfect drivers were mentioned.
  • · We create UFB when we are hurrying off to start a new task before finishing the task in hand.
  • · We create UFB by setting an over-high standard of perfection as an excuse for not completing the task immediately.

Our response to an OVER-CONTROLLING PARENT is often firstly rebellion. However, when we find that doesn’t work, we often change to procrastination. (Muriel James on video)

We identified a slight difference between procrastination and unfinished business.
(persistently putting off doing something) is a form of faulty decision making.
Unfinished business
is the specific topic that activates the delaying tactics.
When asked to suggest SELF-REWARDS we might give ourselves for not procrastinating, most of those present had difficulty in naming specific and concrete rewards that might satisfy the Child part of us without doing us harm.

Due to pressure of time, the following section was not discussed.EGO-STATES AND UFB
· Decision on IMPORTANCE of the task (done by Adult or Parent or Child?)
· Choice of PRIORITY of the task (done by Adult Parent or Child?)
· Assessment of the URGENCY of the task (done by Adult Parent or Child?)
· Allocation of TIME to do the task (done by Adult, Parent, or Child?)
· GUILT, REGRETS, SELF-TORTURE at task not being done (done by Parent or Child

The evening ended with light refreshments (Thanks again Lily).


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home